Get informed : Family

Having parents isn’t always a lot of fun! But being a parent isn’t always fun and games either! What exactly does a parent do? Well, parents play many roles, but two of the most important are:

Loving their children. The parent-children bond is based on mutual love and affection. This relationship provides children with comfort, support, advice, and help, and allows them to grow. When everything goes right, children and parents enjoy spending time together. There are therefore many reasons that this relationship is important for both parents and children.

Providing structure. This is the role that's the hardest for children to appreciate — especially at certain points in their lives! But part of being a parent is to set guidelines to help children develop, teach children the consequences of their actions, and react to unacceptable behaviours involving the family. And parents are also the ones to transmit socially acceptable values and behaviours to their children.

...MAKE YOU FOLLOW THEIR RULES?

Parents also have obligations! They must make sure that their children live in a healthy environment and receive everything they need to grow, become independent, and acquire a sense of responsibility. It's what parent’s do!

Oh no! Not more rules! To fulfil their responsibilities, parents have to establish values and household rules and ensure that they are respected. They can, up to a certain point, make you conform to the rules and values they feel are important. They can also determine the consequences of failure to follow their rules.

Exceptions to their rules. Although parents generally won't compromise on the rules and values they consider fundamental, they may be ready to negotiate other things — how you dress, for instance.


...MAKE YOU GO TO SCHOOL OR MAKE YOU WORK?

Until the end of the school year you turn 16, you have to go to school, and your parents have the responsibility of making sure you do.

Leaving school. If you're 16 and want to leave school (read more here about dropping out), why don’t you first talk to your parents and try to find ways to cope with the situation?

Slave labour? If you're a minor, your parents can’t force you to find a job to contribute to household costs, since you must go to school. However, if you are of legal age and your parents want you to work, why not try talking to them to find a solution everyone will be comfortable with (read more here about working and your parents)?

Deciding on your own or with them. The decisions you make about your future — for example, where you live, whether you pay for some of your personal expenses — have an impact on your parents, too. You might find it helpful to include them in your decision-making process.


CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS AND PARTNERS?

Your parents’ opinion. Your parents may not like some of the people you see. If they think your friends or your partner are a bad influence on you (for example, because they belong to a street gang, take drugs, or are much older than you), they may let you know they're worried or ask you to stop seeing these people. But they can't stop you from seeing someone because they don't like their race or your sexual orientation.

Try to think of it from their point of view. If your parents don’t want to you see certain people, take the time to think about their reasons and why you like these people. Talk about it with your parents, explain your position, and propose solutions (for example, having your parents meet your friends or partner).

Parental worries. If you're sexually active, your parents may also have some concerns. Why not take time to listen to their worries and to try and find ways to reassure them?