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Step-families
Your opinion
So, the separation is a done deal, and your mother or your father has found a new love! And it turns out they have their own children and everyone is going to live together! It can be hard to merge two families into one harmonious unit! But it's not impossible...
YOUR OPINION
Talk about how this situation makes you feel. Everyone is going to have to adapt to the new situation. Talking things over is a good way to start looking for solutions or compromises. What do you say?
Keep an open mind. Who knows, maybe it'll be less horrible than you think! In the beginning, everyone reacts to change, good or bad! Have you given yourself time to see what living in this new family really means?
Remember that it’s not your parent's partner's kids’ fault that you’re stuck in this new situation. They’re probably going through the same thing you are!
YOUR OPINION
Talk about how this situation makes you feel. Everyone is going to have to adapt to the new situation. Talking things over is a good way to start looking for solutions or compromises. What do you say?
Keep an open mind. Who knows, maybe it'll be less horrible than you think! In the beginning, everyone reacts to change, good or bad! Have you given yourself time to see what living in this new family really means?
Remember that it’s not your parent's partner's kids’ fault that you’re stuck in this new situation. They’re probably going through the same thing you are!
Relationships with your parent's new partner
“They're going to pay for this!” Resist the temptation to blame your parent's new partner for everything. Don't forget — they also have to adapt to you and define their role and their relationship to you.
“It's none of your business!” If you feel like your parent’s new partner is getting involved in things that are none of their business, or you don't like the authority they're exerting over you, you might talk to your parent about what you're unhappy about or what you disagree with. You might also talk to your parent's new partner, if you think that that’s possible.
Smoking the peace pipe. To make this transition easier, try to find things you like about your parent's new partner, take an interest in who they are and what they do, keep the lines of communication open, and resist the temptation to decide right off the bat that they're the enemy. Give it a shot!
“It's none of your business!” If you feel like your parent’s new partner is getting involved in things that are none of their business, or you don't like the authority they're exerting over you, you might talk to your parent about what you're unhappy about or what you disagree with. You might also talk to your parent's new partner, if you think that that’s possible.
Smoking the peace pipe. To make this transition easier, try to find things you like about your parent's new partner, take an interest in who they are and what they do, keep the lines of communication open, and resist the temptation to decide right off the bat that they're the enemy. Give it a shot!
Relationships with your step-siblings
“Adapting over and over again!” It’s hard enough adapting to your parent's new partner, but now you also have to adapt to their children, too! It takes work, but what it really takes is time.
Give a helping hand. Try to find common ground, so things go as smoothly as possible. If you decide right away that these step-siblings are intruders, things will get pretty tense, don't you think?
Conflicts. If you’re having a hard time with your new step-siblings and don't seem to be able to resolve conflicts between you, try talking to your parent. The faster you talk about it, the less likely it is that things will get out of hand.
Give a helping hand. Try to find common ground, so things go as smoothly as possible. If you decide right away that these step-siblings are intruders, things will get pretty tense, don't you think?
Conflicts. If you’re having a hard time with your new step-siblings and don't seem to be able to resolve conflicts between you, try talking to your parent. The faster you talk about it, the less likely it is that things will get out of hand.