Problems with friends
Losing a friend
It’s never easy to lose a friend, whether it's because of a fight or because you've drifted in separate directions. Losing a friend is very much like losing a girlfriend or boyfriend — you go through pretty much the same emotions, and deal with the same sadness.

Losing a friend means going through lots of feelings and disturbances:
  •  Pain
  •  Feelings of abandonment, fear, and emptiness
  •  Loss of concentration, hope, motivation and energy
  •  Changes in appetite and sleep
  •  Fatigue
Losing a friend means mourning for…
  • what you liked about them (for example, “we got along so well…”)
  • your projects and dreams (for example, “we were going to take a swimming class together”)
  • your group of friends (for example, “I’m not going to be able to hang out with their friends anymore")
  • certain habits (for example, “I used to call him every night!”)
  • your ideals (for example, “I thought we were going to be like sisters, together for our whole lives”)
Mourning for a lost friendship, step by step. Everyone recovers from a lost friendship in their own way. Like a broken leg, your broken heart may take time to heal. The process of mourning for a lost friendship comprises several stages; you might experience all of them or only some of them, in any order.

Denial: “It’s impossible!” You deny or do not understand what’s happening or why it’s happening. You're in a state of shock. Your heart and your head are all mixed up.

Anger: “I’m so mad at her!” Once the shock has passed, you may feel lots of anger, frustration, outrage, and confusion. You may even see the loss of the friendship as a betrayal or abandonment. Anger may help you let go — but be careful how you express it!

Guilt and bargaining: “I’ll change everything you want me to!” You may be tempted to do anything to not lose your friend, but in the long run this may be a bad idea. You may end up regretting many things, believing everything was your fault, and idealizing the other person. Keeping your hopes up can really hurt.

Sadness: “It's really over, and I feel so low!” Sadness is often part of the process of losing a friend. You've got a right to cry. You have to go through these feelings of loss to realize that it is really over. Give yourself a break and do some things you like.

Acceptance: “I still think about it sometimes, but I’m moving on!” We all learn to live with the end of a friendship, even when it’s difficult. You'll begin to have more confidence in yourself and to feel better, and the future won’t seem as gloomy. With time, you'll have new dreams and new friends…

How you can help yourself get through the pain of losing a friend:
  • Make sure you have people around you who can give you support (friends or family, or call Tel-jeunes!).
  • Remember: take your time. Time heals all wounds.
  • Continue your regular activities, especially the ones that make you happiest.
did you know ?

Every one has their own reaction to seeing people who are important to them becoming romantically involved with each other.

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