Get informed : Healthy mind
Questions about healthy mind
Your emotions
Anger
Anger is a feeling of violent discontent. It takes many forms and can vary in intensity. You can feel angry, frustrated, aggressive, enraged...
Anger is universal. Everyone gets angry at some point in their life. And everyone deals with it in a different way.
Anger has two sides. Expressing anger can be good if it lets you get it out of your system, gets rid of tension, or pushes you to do something that improves yourself or resolves a conflict. However, expressing anger is destructive when it causes you frustration that you keep to yourself, or leads you to lose control and behave aggressively.
WHAT SHOULD I DO AFTER A BLOW-UP?
After the storm. After an explosion of anger, you may feel guilty or ashamed. You may feel you went too far.
Possible reactions. You can:
HOW CAN I CONTROL MY ANGER BETTER?
Understand. Identify what set off your anger. Did a specific event or person make you angry? What happened? How did you express your anger?
Prevent. Identify the signs that indicate that your anger is rising, so that you can try to calm down.
Calm down. Identify how you can give yourself a time out before reacting.
Express your feelings. Find ways to express your anger that don't involve hitting, screaming, insulting people, or breaking things.
Anger is universal. Everyone gets angry at some point in their life. And everyone deals with it in a different way.
Anger has two sides. Expressing anger can be good if it lets you get it out of your system, gets rid of tension, or pushes you to do something that improves yourself or resolves a conflict. However, expressing anger is destructive when it causes you frustration that you keep to yourself, or leads you to lose control and behave aggressively.
WHAT SHOULD I DO AFTER A BLOW-UP?
After the storm. After an explosion of anger, you may feel guilty or ashamed. You may feel you went too far.
Possible reactions. You can:
- apologize to the people with whom you lost your temper
- explain what just happened, using the "I" form
- find other ways to express your frustration
- forgive yourself
HOW CAN I CONTROL MY ANGER BETTER?
Understand. Identify what set off your anger. Did a specific event or person make you angry? What happened? How did you express your anger?
Prevent. Identify the signs that indicate that your anger is rising, so that you can try to calm down.
Calm down. Identify how you can give yourself a time out before reacting.
Express your feelings. Find ways to express your anger that don't involve hitting, screaming, insulting people, or breaking things.
Sadness
Sadness is a state of discontent and pain that may be short-lived or long-lasting, depending on the cause.
Some tears. You may express your sadness by crying or retreating into your own little bubble. Or you may feel like nothing is fun anymore, and have no motivation to do anything at all.
Grey days. Sadness comes and goes. If you feel like your sadness is taking up your whole life or that you’re not getting through it, don't hesitate to talk about to a professional.
HOW CAN I HANDLE MY SADNESS BETTER?
Allow yourself to feel your sadness. There's no point in a useless fight against the tears and the hurt. If you’re sad, why not let it out?
Take a break from your sadness. Expressing your sadness by crying or talking about it can do you good and help you get rid of the pain. But you also have to take breaks and give yourself time for your mood to change. What types of activities generally make you feel better?
Talk about it. Don’t keep it all to yourself! You can talk about your feelings and worries with people you trust. They can help you find solutions. You can also call Tel-jeunes!
Some tears. You may express your sadness by crying or retreating into your own little bubble. Or you may feel like nothing is fun anymore, and have no motivation to do anything at all.
Grey days. Sadness comes and goes. If you feel like your sadness is taking up your whole life or that you’re not getting through it, don't hesitate to talk about to a professional.
HOW CAN I HANDLE MY SADNESS BETTER?
Allow yourself to feel your sadness. There's no point in a useless fight against the tears and the hurt. If you’re sad, why not let it out?
Take a break from your sadness. Expressing your sadness by crying or talking about it can do you good and help you get rid of the pain. But you also have to take breaks and give yourself time for your mood to change. What types of activities generally make you feel better?
Talk about it. Don’t keep it all to yourself! You can talk about your feelings and worries with people you trust. They can help you find solutions. You can also call Tel-jeunes!
Embarrassment
Embarrassment is a feeling of discomfort associated with specific situations.
Everyone gets embarrassed about something. What embarrasses you? Do you know why you feel embarrassed?
Freeze! People can get so embarrassed that they don't know how to react. This can make both you and the people around you uncomfortable.
HOW TO COMBAT EMBARRASSMENT?
Speak your mind. When specific situations or people start making you uncomfortable, are you able to identify your discomfort rather than let it paralyze you?
Give yourself a chance. Sometimes, new activities or people can make people feel uncomfortable. But before retreating into your little bubble, why don't you at least try to face the new situation?
Know yourself. Whenever possible, avoid situations that make you uncomfortable. That way, you can maintain your self-respect.
Make sure you know which tools fix which problems. Develop strategies to help reduce your embarrassment as much as possible. For example, you could get support from a friend, learn your material for a class presentation perfectly, take the time to relax the day before a delicate situation, or talk about your embarrassment when you’re overwhelmed! What strategies work for you?
Don't let it get you down. If your embarrassment is isolating you from others or making you avoid situations or people so much that you can no longer participate in your normal daily activities, talk to an adult or your school counsellor about it. Don’t keep it to yourself!
Everyone gets embarrassed about something. What embarrasses you? Do you know why you feel embarrassed?
Freeze! People can get so embarrassed that they don't know how to react. This can make both you and the people around you uncomfortable.
HOW TO COMBAT EMBARRASSMENT?
Speak your mind. When specific situations or people start making you uncomfortable, are you able to identify your discomfort rather than let it paralyze you?
Give yourself a chance. Sometimes, new activities or people can make people feel uncomfortable. But before retreating into your little bubble, why don't you at least try to face the new situation?
Know yourself. Whenever possible, avoid situations that make you uncomfortable. That way, you can maintain your self-respect.
Make sure you know which tools fix which problems. Develop strategies to help reduce your embarrassment as much as possible. For example, you could get support from a friend, learn your material for a class presentation perfectly, take the time to relax the day before a delicate situation, or talk about your embarrassment when you’re overwhelmed! What strategies work for you?
Don't let it get you down. If your embarrassment is isolating you from others or making you avoid situations or people so much that you can no longer participate in your normal daily activities, talk to an adult or your school counsellor about it. Don’t keep it to yourself!
Shame
Shame is a feeling of painful humiliation, of being inferior to others, or of being worth less than other people. This feeling is the result of judging yourself severely for something you did or said that you're not proud of.
Whose fault? You may feel ashamed of something that happened that's not your fault. If this happens to you, ask yourself what really happened, and talk to someone about it. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of something you're not responsible for.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FEEL ASHAMED?
Time to clean house! What exactly are you reacting to? How do you feel when you're ashamed? Do you feel that every conflict you're involved in is entirely your fault? Remember — you have to be clear about what you're responsible for.
A cracked mirror? Sometimes, we’re the worst judge of ourselves. We can judge ourselves more severely than we should and more severely than others do.
Right your wrongs. If you really did do or say something you wish you could take back, the shame you feel may be an indication that you should apologize and try to make up for what you've done.
Explain yourself. Have you taken the time to talk to the people you hurt, so that they can understand that you're ashamed of what you’ve done? Sometimes talking to the person you've hurt can help resolve a conflict and relieve your shame. You can also talk to a friend, an adult, or a counsellor about what you're feeling and how to deal with it.
Whose fault? You may feel ashamed of something that happened that's not your fault. If this happens to you, ask yourself what really happened, and talk to someone about it. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of something you're not responsible for.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FEEL ASHAMED?
Time to clean house! What exactly are you reacting to? How do you feel when you're ashamed? Do you feel that every conflict you're involved in is entirely your fault? Remember — you have to be clear about what you're responsible for.
A cracked mirror? Sometimes, we’re the worst judge of ourselves. We can judge ourselves more severely than we should and more severely than others do.
Right your wrongs. If you really did do or say something you wish you could take back, the shame you feel may be an indication that you should apologize and try to make up for what you've done.
Explain yourself. Have you taken the time to talk to the people you hurt, so that they can understand that you're ashamed of what you’ve done? Sometimes talking to the person you've hurt can help resolve a conflict and relieve your shame. You can also talk to a friend, an adult, or a counsellor about what you're feeling and how to deal with it.
Fear and anxiety
WHAT IS FEAR?
Fear is a feeling of being threatened or in danger, regardless of whether the danger is real or not. Everyone has their own sources of fear.
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
Anxiety is an intense feeling of worry. It’s an alarm signal from your mind and body. You can be suddenly overwhelmed by it, or feel it for long periods.
The signs of anxiety. Anxiety is experienced as a series of physical signs similar to those associated with fear: sweating, sweaty hands, trembling, heart palpitations, stress, etc. Everyone has their own reaction to anxiety.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I FEEL AFRAID OR ANXIOUS?
Understand. Can you identify the situations in which you experience these invasive feelings? The places and people? What are you afraid of exactly?
Retake control. Anxiety and fear are reactions to real or imagined physical or psychological danger. You can choose to do something to eliminate these feelings.
Calm down. You can't always calm down when you're anxious or afraid. What ways work for you when you need to relax, take care of yourself, or calm down? Taking the time to breathe deeply, and remembering reassuring images or memories can help.
Get help. If your fear and anxiety are too intense, if they’re keeping you participating in your normal daily activities, or if you feel like the alarm signals are going off for no reason, take the time to talk to an adult or a professional. It's important!