Emotions
 
Shame
 
What is it?
•    Shame is a feeling of humiliation that you may experience for something you did that you’re not proud of and that isn’t consistent with your personal values (e.g. lying, cheating).

•    You may feel ashamed when others judge you negatively, make fun of you or intimidate you. In this case, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of something you’re not responsible for.

 
How to handle your shame
•    Assess the situation. Are you feeling ashamed because of something you did or that someone else did? Try to sort out what you are and aren’t responsible for in the situation in order to better understand your reactions.

•    A cracked mirror? Sometimes you can be your own worst judge. You may judge yourself more severely than you should and more severely than others do.

•    Right your wrongs. If you really did do or say something you’re not proud of, the shame you feel may be an indication that it’s important to apologize and make up for what you’ve done.

•    Explain yourself. Take the time to talk to the people who were affected by your actions to let them know you made a mistake. Sometimes, talking about it can help resolve a conflict and relieve your shame.

•    Assert yourself. If your shame is caused by insults from others, keep in mind you aren’t responsible for their actions. You know, everyone’s different and everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. There’s no such thing as perfection! If you think you are the victim of bullying, refer to the section on Bullying to find out more.

•    Talk about it. You can also talk about what you’re feeling and try to find new strategies and approaches for dealing with similar situations in the future. Talk with someone you trust or call Tel-jeunes.
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