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questions about school
Obstacles to your school career
Performance pressure
WHAT IS PERFORMANCE PRESSURE?
Performance pressure is the urge to:
- succeed at all costs, without realizing what it’s costing you in time, energy, and relationships.
- strive for perfection, forgetting that perfection isn’t possible!
- be the best when you’re not actually in competition with others.
- focus on marks, forgetting that they’re not the only thing that counts! Your experiences and learning process, and the personal troubles you’ve gone through, don’t show up in your marks, but they are just as important.
WHERE DOES PERFORMANCE PRESSURE COME FROM?
From yourself. You can demand that you be the best, be disappointed if your average isn’t as high as you wanted, or be hard on yourself if you don’t win first prize in an athletic competition.
From others. For example, your parents, who really want you to succeed in areas they failed in at your age. Or coaches, who push you to perform when you only want to have fun.
HOW CAN I MANAGE PERFORMANCE PRESSURE?
Get to know yourself! Where does the pressure in your life come from? What physical and psychological signs tell you that you’re tense or stressed out? What can you do to relax and stay calm when you’re under pressure?
Set your own standards for success. What are your standards for feeling successful and proud of yourself? Which is more important: getting a good mark or doing the things you like?
Assess the importance of other people's opinions. Do you feel the overwhelming need to please? When you have to make a choice, whose is the most important opinion — yours or someone else's?
Be clear about your own expectations. Are your goals realistic? Can you meet your objectives? Will that satisfy you?
Take care of yourself! Are you too hard on yourself? Do you treat yourself in ways you’d never put up with from someone else?
Learn how to learn! Get back to the basic reason for going to school — to learn, to see what you want to be in life.
Conflicts with teachers
Some things to think about if you have a conflict with a teacher:
Talk about it directly with your teacher. This is the most constructive way to go about things. Calmly explain the problem and how you feel, and propose solutions that you can assess with your teacher. The point of the exercise? Coming to an agreement you both can live with!
Don't let things get nasty. If you're tempted to seek revenge or react, take the time to think about the possible consequences of any action you're thinking of taking.
Don't be quick to judge. Often, conflicts have nothing to do with the way you feel about your teacher or the way they feel about you. You may just not get along!
Ask for help. If you feel the conflict is getting out of hand, talk to an adult you can trust or call Tel-jeunes!
Talk about it directly with your teacher. This is the most constructive way to go about things. Calmly explain the problem and how you feel, and propose solutions that you can assess with your teacher. The point of the exercise? Coming to an agreement you both can live with!
Don't let things get nasty. If you're tempted to seek revenge or react, take the time to think about the possible consequences of any action you're thinking of taking.
Don't be quick to judge. Often, conflicts have nothing to do with the way you feel about your teacher or the way they feel about you. You may just not get along!
Ask for help. If you feel the conflict is getting out of hand, talk to an adult you can trust or call Tel-jeunes!
Failing and repeating a year
Action/reaction. If you fail or are in danger of having to repeat a year, you may be upset, tempted to react, or unmotivated for awhile.
But the failure doesn't define you. If you’re having problems at school, it doesn’t mean that you’re not a good person or that you are worthless.
Everything is relative. The fact that you failed doesn’t mean that you'll always fail. For one thing, getting 50% on a test means you know half the material! If you look at it this way, it's easier to get motivated again.
Try to understand what happened. Was there too much pressure on you? Did you not study enough? Did you go to class? Did you pay attention in class? Have bullying (read more here about bullying) or personal problems interfered with your studies?
But the failure doesn't define you. If you’re having problems at school, it doesn’t mean that you’re not a good person or that you are worthless.
Everything is relative. The fact that you failed doesn’t mean that you'll always fail. For one thing, getting 50% on a test means you know half the material! If you look at it this way, it's easier to get motivated again.
Try to understand what happened. Was there too much pressure on you? Did you not study enough? Did you go to class? Did you pay attention in class? Have bullying (read more here about bullying) or personal problems interfered with your studies?
Being suspended or expelled
Can you be suspended? Yes. Every school has its code of conduct, and suspension and expulsion are responses to actions that are deemed unacceptable.
Can you learn from this experience? Do you want to learn from what you’ve just gone through? How can you change your behaviour so that this doesn’t happen again? If you start up again, do you understand that you risk being expelled?
Can you learn from this experience? Do you want to learn from what you’ve just gone through? How can you change your behaviour so that this doesn’t happen again? If you start up again, do you understand that you risk being expelled?
Dropping out
Remind yourself of your personal goals! What would you like to do with your life? What job would you like to have? To turn these dreams into reality, do you need to stay in school?
Relax! Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Do you enjoy going to school and seeing your friends? Are there subjects that you like?
Don't lose sight of the big picture. Don’t forget that school won’t last forever. Even if it’s tough now, you will eventually move on to other things. Would it be easier to get motivated if you saw school as a temporary means to get where you want to go?
See clearly. When things aren’t going well, you might tend see only the bad things. But do you remember your successes and the things that worked out well? Is school work the only reason that you’re thinking about dropping out? You know, if it’s partly because of interpersonal conflicts or bullying, there are solutions other than giving up everything! Do you think that your motivation will come back in the short or medium term? Are you sure you have to make the decision to drop out now?
Think about it! If you’re thinking about dropping out of school, make sure you find out if you can or not. Officially, you have to stay in school until the end of the school year you turn 16.
Visit Une place pour toi (French).
Relax! Are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Do you enjoy going to school and seeing your friends? Are there subjects that you like?
Don't lose sight of the big picture. Don’t forget that school won’t last forever. Even if it’s tough now, you will eventually move on to other things. Would it be easier to get motivated if you saw school as a temporary means to get where you want to go?
See clearly. When things aren’t going well, you might tend see only the bad things. But do you remember your successes and the things that worked out well? Is school work the only reason that you’re thinking about dropping out? You know, if it’s partly because of interpersonal conflicts or bullying, there are solutions other than giving up everything! Do you think that your motivation will come back in the short or medium term? Are you sure you have to make the decision to drop out now?
Think about it! If you’re thinking about dropping out of school, make sure you find out if you can or not. Officially, you have to stay in school until the end of the school year you turn 16.
Visit Une place pour toi (French).