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[ Will I be judged for my weight? ]

Pingata - girl - 14 ans (25 March 2015)

I'm kinda fat. Like 200 pounds fat. But I've lost 50 and I'm still losing. Next week for Easter we're going to Belgium to see my moms family and I'm extremely nervous that they'll judge me on my weight. I sometimes see people that I just met give me this sympathetic look and they treat me differently than the others just cause I may be bigger. I don't want my family to be disappointed when they see that I'm fat you know? :( I also have a low self esteem and I think I have a man's face, so that doesn't help. I'm usually always nervous meeting new people, but this is my family I'm meeting for the first time. I don't know how to get over this anxiety :(

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi pingata! Thank you for trusting us and sharing your situation with us.

You had a great idea writing to us and not keeping all these feelings for yourself. I understand how hard it can be to feel that you are treated differently because of your weight and it is normal that you are feeling anxious to meet your family! Have you talked about this with someone else? Would you feel comfortable talking about it with your parents? Sometimes, talking to someone in who we trust can help us control our anxiety.

You know pingata, unfortunately we cannot control what other persons will think, say or do. The only thing we can control, is our own behavior and our own thoughts, do you follow me? So, what thoughts could help you feel better about this situation? The face and body of a person is only a part of us that does not represent who we are deep down, you get me? And even if you know that, it is good to be reminded that no matter how one person looks like, what is inside, the personality, the temper, the humor, etc., is the most important part of a human being, do you agree with me? Knowing this, would you rather focus on what your family can judge, or what they can like about you? What do you think will help you more with this anxiety that you are feeling? Don’t hesitate to call us if you feel the need to talk to someone, it will be a pleasure for us to talk to you.

I wish you good luck getting to know your family, have a great time!

Tel-jeunes.

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