Young people’s questions

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[ My life ]

TwinkieD - girl - 13 ans (15 July 2009)

i hate my life because its all because of my sister she is prettier than me an di hate it im jealous i always tell her oo it looks nice on you and everything i make her happy but she never made em really happy im person who really cares about everyone when she has problemes with my parents i help her out and its alwayz me who gets in trouble and she never says thanks or anything! i help people but i never get what i need and i feel i am fat anything i wear i dont like it i dont go out cause i feel im fat and ugly i dont like to show my self! The only reason why i am living its all because of my friends and my best friend also my favorite singer *** other than that i would rather die I HATE EVERYTHING! EVERRYONE who sees my sister they say oo she is pretty but no one would say i am i hate it!

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello TwinkieD! Thank you for the trust you show us by writing us this message.

I can read how difficult this situation is for you. Feeling jealous about the way one person looks, about what another one has, etc. is something that a lot of people will experience one day. Tell me, what place does your jealousy take in your life, in your mind? When we think about it a lot or when it makes us feel difficult emotions, it may be the sign that we have to do something about this situation. Do you agree? You know, everybody thinks their body isn’t perfect…and they are right! Why do you want so much to change your body? Do you know what self-esteem is? Self-esteem is the way we see ourselves. People who have a low self-esteem tend to see only their weaknesses. But as a person, we do have weaknesses, but we also have strengths, qualities, goals, values, etc. Tell me, what makes you proud of yourself? Could you ask the people around you what they think makes you the unique person that you are?

Remember we are the only ones responsible for our well-being. We can choose to focus on what we like or what we dislike about ourselves. The first makes us feel somewhat better. Don’t you think? When you meet someone, is it only what you don't like about yourself that the other person sees? Actually, the other person will see your smile, will hear your voice, will learn more about yourself, etc. Our body is not the only thing that defines us. Do you agree? Accepting ourselves as we are is a long-term process for many of us. You might want to read the HEALTHY MIND section to get some more information.

Tell me TwinkieD, do you think talking to your sister might be helpful? Things are not always easy between sisters! But if we don't talk about what's bothering us, the other person can't guess. Does she know you feel like "she never made em really happy" or that "she never says thanks"? If you wish to have support about this conversation, you can write back or call us.

I'm worried about you. It's important that you don't stay alone. Is there an adult around you that knows how you feel? I suggest you talk about these emotions with a counsellor. It’s normal to need help when we go through a though time. You can make an appointment with a psychologist in private practice or at your local CLSC. Also, remember we are there for you at any time at 1 800 263-2266. Talking about it can help.

Take care!

Tel-jeunes

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