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[ My mother ]

Ivana - girl - 16 ans (15 December 2010)

Well I'm a 16 year old girl, living in a house where there is always an argument between my parents. They are always fighting, and my mom screams very loud and threatens to leave but she never does. Then she yells at me because I'm not open with her and she says I look too depressed all the time. I don't understand, does she expect me to be happy with all that's going on? Today she left me home alone from school because she said she didn't want to see my face. Then she took my garbage and threw it across my room, I had to pick up everything. Then she said "if the school calls asking where you are, I'll say I don't know" and she screams at me non-stop. The one person I usually talk to is my aunt, and now my mom hates my aunt and I'm not allowed to talk to her anymore. My father can't listen because he's too busy with his problems and he's always working. My mom threatens to hurt me. She says I'm going nowhere in life. I can't talk to my friends about it because no one will ever understand what I'm going through unless they've been through it. I've had enough, my body can't take all this anymore. Now I'm home alone, crying my eyes out.I have suicidal thoughts, but I'm afraid of death. I'm scared of the world. I need help. Please help me. :'(

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi Ivana! Thanks for the trust you show us by writing.

I can read the situation between you and your mom is very difficult. We can have different values and opinions from our parents which can lead to some conflicts and misunderstandings. But you know Ivana, being yelled at and threatened is psychological violence and it is not acceptable. There are other ways for your mother to react. Have you tried to talk to her about it? This situation needs to stop Ivana because the fact that you have suicidal thoughts reflects the pain that it makes you feel. A person who develops suicidal thoughts wants to stop their suffering, not to stop living. Is it the case for you? Is it possible that you have the impression that you've tried everything you know to stop your suffering so you feel that suicide is your only option? If it's the case Ivana, it's very important that you understand that our problems can blind us and that solutions do exist. The fact is that difficult situations always come to an end eventually. When we feel lost and that we can't take it anymore, it’s important to talk about it. You may think that there’s no point talking about what you’re going through but talking about our problems can help us see them in another light and discover new approaches. It’s also a way of breaking isolation and seeking help, since people around you can’t know what you’re feeling unless you talk about it. What gives you the impression that your friends won't understand you? Couldn't they be helpful in any way even if they don't experience the same thing as you? You see, friends can be there to listen to us, to make us laugh, to support us in our interventions, etc. It could make a difference don't you think? That being said, there is also the possibility to talk about what you are going trough to a professional. Your school counsellor could, for example, take a look at you situation and support you from there. What to you think? The most important thing is that you and your mom get help.

I suggest you to call us so we can figure out a plan OK? A counsellor is there for you 24/7 at 1-800-263-2266. We could evaluate together how you could protect yourself when the situation at home becomes too intense, which activities could help you change your mind, wich resources could help you, etc.

Until then, I wish you good luck and take good care of yourself!

Tel-jeunes

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