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[ What should i do? ]

Anonymous - girl - 13 ans (6 January 2012)

ok so ive been really close with a girl in my class for about 2 years now, she's one of my best friends' but she recently went out with my other best guy friend and now it's all awkard between them. She doesnt talk to me that much anymore and idk why... do you think it's cuz i hang out with her ex? I text her all the time and theres no little smilly faces anymore:S And sometimes ill ask her, soo you still love me? and shes like yeah but she doesnt seem genuine.:S Ive been loosing some friends lately because .. well I actually dont know why, they always give me dirty looks when they see me now:S anyway, i just dont want to loose everyone you know?? I have one or two ppl I know i can count on but still, I dont want to loose that many ppl... Should I just pretend nothing ever happened? When we were inseperable, we used to make a besties list, you know your top friends and she keeps changing it, now theres over 15 ppl on it and i feel like sometimes my name doesnt belong there... I tried talking to her about it but she doesnt listen. I don't know what to do:S Help me plz:(

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello Anonymous,

Thank you for considering us with the issue you are presentably dealing with right now.

All types of relationships change over the course of time. Sometimes there are disagreements, fights, misunderstandings, etc. that can be addressed so that we can adapt to the new situation. When we realize that we are losing our friends or that they become distant and we don't know why, we can discuss it with them to understand what is going on. Would you like to discuss how you feel with them? Are you ready to hear whatever they have to say? Sometimes it happens that we misinterpreted their behaviour and having the discussion clarifies the issue. Other times, it can happen that we did something to our friends without even realizing it and they got hurt. Can you think of anything that would have upset your friends? Would you like to find out?

When we have these types of conversations with our friends we need to prepare ourselves to listen to what they have to say. It helps if we speak more about how we feel then the behaviours that they are doing wrong. Do you understand the difference? People can become defensive if we put the blame on them instead of expressing how we feel inside and how the relationship is affecting us the way it is at the moment. How do you feel about all this? What would you like to tell them?

Have a nice day!

Tel-jeunes

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