Young people’s questions

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You can read others’ question on various subjects.

[ friends ]

dkgirl - girl - 14 ans (12 November 2008)

my best friend and my other friend kayla always leave me and my friend Jodie out. Me and my best friend have been friends since second grade and she has always been a really good friend so i dont understand why she is treating me this way, her and kayla are always together and they always do stuff together, its mostly kaylas fault because she clings to my best friend, its really unfair because im the one that introduced my best briend to kayla in the first place, i was friends with both of them before they were friends with eachother and i really have no idea what to do about it. I told my best friend that i feel left out and somehow the conversation turned into the fact that i never tell lher things(did not tell her how i felt sooner) and nothing has improved since then, i feel so bad about it and i can never consentrate on my home work! -DKgirl

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello dkgirl,

I understand this situation hurts you. It is a good idea to ask for help.

A relationship between two people can change or transform itself with time. A friendship can go through a period where we feel that we aren’t as close as we use to. Do you agree with me?

It is not easy to go through a change in our friendship. It takes time to adjust to a new reality when the frienship has been strong for a while. First we might be ready to do anything so that the relationship works again.

I understand from your message that you already tried talking to her. You know, we don’t control our friend’s behaviour or choice. But you can choose how you can to react. If your friend doesn’t want to change right now; what do you want to do dkgirl? For example, some people will choose to spend more time with other people, others will choose to do different activities in order to change their mind.

It is important to be supported when we feel sad or hurt. It touches me that you can’t concentrate on your homeworks. How can you express or release what’s going on inside you? There are different ways of expression : writing, painting, drawing, playing music, dancing, etc.
Do you have your own ways to express your emotions right now? Do you talk to friends, family members about it? How can you take care of you, of your own feelings?

I want to encourage you and please remember that we are always available if you want to talk.

Take care!

Tel-jeunes

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