Young people’s questions

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girllll - girl - 15 ans (19 September 2014)

i really don't know what to do anymore.. i'm 15 i've been with same guy for 2 years and i've been falling for another guy.. now i say i love you to both.. i feel bad but i dont know what to do! i dont wanna hurt one or the other at all:'( its getting me so lost! help me :'( thank you. i didnt wanna call i was scared to hear what you guys were gonna say:(

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi girllll!

Love can lead us to live all kind of situations

I understand that you are currently in love with two boys, but you don't tell us if you are going out with both of them. Since you seem very uncomfortable with the situation, Iam going to do as if you were going out with both and you were trying to choose between the two of them. If that's not the case, please write us again to tell us what is your exact question. Allright?

First of all, what does love means for you? You see, some people will consider that they are in love just by feeling complicity with the other person, although others need to be physically attracted and to have "butterflies in their stomach" when they see him/her to feel the same way. As you can see, our vision of love influences our relationships and can help us defining what we want. So, girlll, what would be your ideal relationship? What kind of qualities are you looking for in a boyfriend? Do you think that kind of relationship is more possible with your actual boyfriend or with the other boy?

Since it is sometimes difficult to measure our feelings, some people will choose other ways to compare, such as making a list of the pros and cons of a relationship with one or the other, or of the strengths and weaknesses of each, and then define the qualities that are more important for them. Would you like to try one of these ways? You know, when we have a choice to make, it always implies that we have to "mourn" the other alternative, which may not be easy. As an example, if you choose to stay with your boyfriend, it's possible that you keep wondering what would have happened if you were out with the other boy. Conversely, if you go out with the other boy, you may regret not having more chances with your boyfriend. Making a choice involves to face the consequences. Are you willing to assume them?

I'm going to let you think about it, and don't hesitate to contact us if you feel the need to. We are available anytime at 1 800 263-2266.

Take care, girllll!

Tel-jeunes

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