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[ What does this all mean? ]

Lost - girl - 16 ans (28 June 2017)

We all want an easy way out; perhaps an advice from god or even to find a leading path of happiness. I'm not going to tag myself as religious or catholic but I do believe in live and it's reasons. I don't think we are all sentenced. Let's say I'm sentenced into thinking about this guy forever. To be more precised, I've known this guy since January 1st. What a new start huh? Anyways it's been three months that we've broken up. I've had a rough time moving on because I'm just so compelled by him in someway. What is wrong to say is that I have a boyfriend and it's been three months now and yes I do love him. But he's so dependent to me and I can hardly breathe just like I was so dependent to the other boy. For short, I was able to move on and on my happiest trips the boy in question texted me something like i miss you and then I began to be sad again and wonder why the heck did god send him in my way again? I was happy without him. Then we stop talking and I move on again. I forgot him for two months and now... I keep on dreaming about him. After all he's done to me I forgive him because I can't hate my first true love. Why is he coming in my way again? Why can't I get over him even though I do everything that everyone tells me too. Does it mean that maybe now we could be meant for eachother? Does this mean that we should see eachother one last time?

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello you,

It's not always easy to try and forget an ex boyfriend.... It's a good thing you thought of reaching out for help instead of keeping all of this to yourself.

You see, when you are in a relationship, you usually invest a lot of yourself in it: physically, sexually, financially, emotionnally, etc. Your first relationship can have an especially great impact on you since you are experiencing a lot of new things with that person, and the emotions and experiences can feel quite intense. Because of that, a lot of people have a harder time breaking up from that 1st relationship. Even our memory can become selective in that it mostly remembers all the good times while forgetting about the not so good times... This makes moving on quite laborious. Sometimes, we think we are finally getting over it, then something happens that trigger our feelings back.. Is that kind of what you are going through?

Unfortunately, there is no ''cure'' for this. It's normal to have a hard time with this and it's only time that can help us. If we do want to move on, it can also be helpful to distract ourselves by doing things that we know can help us think of other things and help us feel better (exercise, talking to people, writing, watching movies, crying and screaming, taking long relaxing baths, etc.). But we don't just erase someone from our memory. It's normal that he may still pop up in your mind. With time, the intensity of our left-over feelings usually decrease. No one is the same therefore, for some people, it may take longer!

Of course, if you would like to give him a second chance, that is for you to decide! To help you decide, you can consider what you are looking for in a relationship and what kind of a person you want to be dating and see if this guy matches up!

All of this may require some time to think over and it's ok! Don't hesitate to call us if you would like to discuss this situation more in depth! (1800-263-2266)

Take care of yourself!

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