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[ Real love or just my body? ]

Addicted? - girl - 18 ans (14 June 2011)

Since the age of 12 I have been in love with this boy(ced)we ''went out'' which lasted a month, we then lost contact for years. I was going out with an other guy during this time, i have been with him for 1year&1/2 and I one day saw Ced again. My heart stopped for a moment, we started hanging out again and talking. During the xmas vacation me and my bf broke up, we were to a point where we couldnt stand each other anymore,ive cried for about a weel from that break up then i was chill. A month later I started dating Ced, it was amazing, never felt what real love was. Before going out with him he would tell me he wants to lose his virginity from me, i found it weird and laughed. but after dating ced for a month ..we had sex,everything was amazing. After dating for 3 months he dumped me, he called me back 2 weeks after saying he missed me,so i went back.We were together for a month, he dumped me again and 2 days after he had a new gf,i cried for months, and failed my school semester.Now he has been with her for a month now,& he keeps texting me 'i miss your body', 'i miss having sex with you', ' i miss sleeping with you, kissing you' and things like that. he even asked me if i wanted to go over to his place to have sex, i said no, because i dont want him to cheat. now he told me him& his gf isnt going alright and he wants me back.but im afraid he wants me just for my body and hell hurt me again. i do not know what to do, but to remember, i love this boy to death and always will.

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello !

Thanks for thinking of us to get some help with your situation. You had a good idea not to stay alone with yours feelings. I carefully read your e-mail and I understand very well your sadness.

Everyone has their own perception of sex. For some people sex can exist whitout love. For others, sex requires love. Have you already thought about that? The important part is to be clear about your reasons to have sex with someone. Is it ok for you to have sex with a friend ? Do you need to be in love ? What about your partner? Do you want him to be in love with you? Is it ok if he just wants to have sex without commitement? You are the only person who can decide where are your limits.

It's not always enough to be in love with someone to make a relationship work. When things are not working as we wished, it's totally normal to feel sad, lost, even angry. With time, we learn to live with the deception and the feelings become less intense. Each love will leave a trace on us, and make us who we are. But as the days pass, with a lot of patience, we slowly start to live normally.

Sometimes people change, and it's possible to start again a relationship with better results, But also, often, it will always be the same. We never know how it will be this time. Even if after a few times we become more aware of how the relationship will end. Does this make sense to you? Going back to a relationship requires you to take risks. Are you ready to deal will all the possible outcomes?

I hope my answer helps a little bit. If you need more help you can call us. We are always available 24/7.

Take care


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