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[ Parent Teacher Interviews!? ]

Anonymous - girl - 14 ans (23 February 2012)

Okaies, so I have a boyfriend, but my parents don't know. I really want to tell them, but trust me, no one knows my parents like I do. They would take EVERYTHING away from me if they found out. everyone is always telling me oh dont worry they just act harsh but they wont do anything. but trust me. i know they will. so anyway, my teacher found out and is always making comments about it... parent teacher interviews are coming up. how do i get her not to tell them? because i'll be screwed if they find out:/

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello Anonymous! I understand this is a stressful situation for you.

However, when we choose to lie, we also accept the risk to eventually see the truth come out. Do you agree? Tell me, were you aware of the risks when you made your decision to have a boyfriend without your parents’consent ?

You're wondering what you can do to keep your relationship secret as long as possible. Do you have any ideas? Well, first of all, you can explain your situation to your teacher and ask him for his support. Is asking your teacher to not comment nor speak about your relationship an option for you? However, if your teacher isn’t comfortable with it, you’ll have to face your parents’ reaction.

Or, in a situation like yours, we can simply chose to reveal the truth to our parents before the parents-teacher’s meeting. What do you think about it? Yet, you think your parents won’t approve or worst, you think they will want to punish you... How do you know it? The only way to know it is to speak with them. Communication is so important in that kind of situation! It is the best way to express ourselves, to say what we feel and what is important to us AND it’s the best way to know what our parents need to be reassured on? Do you fallow me? Of course, we cannot get our parents to change their mind… Will you, after all, give it a try? To help you, I invite you to have a look to our web site at the FAMILY section where you'll find informations under the "Conflicts and communication" rubric.

Whatever your decision, when the truth will come to light (if it comes!), what will you do? Some teenagers will ask their parents to meet with their loved one to give them the opportunity to know him better. Some will try to talk (again) to their parents and try to find a compromise. Some will choose to continue with their relationship without their parents’consent (and whatever are the consequences). Others will choose to end up the relationship to avoid bigger problems with their parents. ETC. I let you think about all of it…

If you would like for a counsellor to look at the situation a little bit more with you, I suggest that you call us directly. We're available 24/7.

Good luck!

Tel-jeunes

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