Young people’s questions

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[ asking a guy out ]

delta123 - girl - 17 ans (7 September 2008)

A month ago, I started working in a restaurant as a hostess. I was the youngest employee there at 17 years old, but people still treated me like an adult. Over there, I met a waiter. Let's call him "Jim". Jim and I spoke a lot during the quieter times at the restaurant and I learnt a few things about him, like where he went to school and his ambitions in life (according to this info, he wasn't much older than I was). I didn't learn a lot about him though, like his actual age and his last name. I don't even know if he knows my name. Last week, the restaurant let me go, because it apparently was getting quieter and they didn't need me anymore. Instead, they hired this other girl. When I went to get my check last friday, I talked to Jim but I was a little jealous when I saw him talking to the other hostess (I know I have no right over him, but it still hurts). The restaurant didn't have my check so I have to go back and get it on friday. I'll probably see Jim then and I'm seriously considering asking him out. I don't know if I should. Would it seem too forward? How should I do it? It would probably be the last time I'll see him also. And what if he isn't working that night? I don't know how to get over him and it's killing me. (Sorry for the lenght of the question and also if it's completely random and you don't know how to answer it)

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello delta123! Let’s have a look at this situation.

You’re wondering if you should ask a guy out. Tell me, what do you wish to do? You know delta123, you’re the only one who can take a decision, knowing that you’re the only one who will have to deal with the consequences of your choice. If you don’t ask him out, how will you feel? Do you prefer taking control over your romantic life and ask him out? After all, the worst that can happen is that he says no…but at least, you will have tried! What do you think? If you decide to ask him out, you could tell him you wish to see him again, you could ask him his phone number or his e-mail address, you could ask him out on a “real date”, etc. Do you have other ideas? If he’s not working, would you wish to go back another day to be sure to see him? Sometimes, feeling like we took control over a situation and feeling like we’ve tried can make us feel better, no matter what happens next.

Don’t hesitate to call us if you wish to talk to a counsellor. We’re there for you all the time. Take care!


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