Young people’s questions

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You can read others’ question on various subjects.

[ in love ]

bella1234 - girl - 15 ans (23 February 2012)

hi i dont realy know how to stat this but im in love with this boy .. he has a girlfriend now its ben 1month and a half and i cant stop looking at him being so happy with her it makes me sick ,, i say to my self that no im not jealous but i think i am:$ the last time i spok to him was on text message .. a while back BUT i always see him cauz he is in my bus .. its really weird loving him, because i dont really know him and i have feelings for him ! i dont know what to do anymore im gonna lose it im scard to i just need help fast!

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi bella1234,

I understand this is a difficult situation for you. Let’s look at this situation together.

We don’t choose who we fall in love with. Sometimes, we fall for a friend, sometimes we fall for someone older, sometimes we fall for someone already in a relationship, etc. When it happens, we can wish for our feelings to disappear, but it’s not that easy. Do you agree with me? The good news is that we can decide what we’ll do with these feelings! Did you ever think about it?

For example, in a situation like yours, we can decide to do absolutely nothing and keep our feelings secret. Do you think you can do this? You can choose to try to know that boy better and try to get closer to him. However, it does not guarantee that he will develop feelings for you (and chances are even slimer when the person is already in a relationship!). Are you ready to take those risks? You can also decide to talk about what you feel to the concerned person. Do you think hearing how this boy feels about you could help you to stop wishing (if he doesn't feel the same way about you)? Finally, we can decide to move on... That decision is totally up to you. What would you prefer to do? What would help you feel better?

Even if we never dates the person one falls for, that doesn’t mean one doesn't go through the pain of a “break up” when one realize that a relationship with this person is not possible. To get information about the process of grief, I invite you to have a look at the MENTAL HEALTH section on our web site. O.k.?

I’ll let you think about all this. If you wish to talk more with a counsellor, don’t ever hesitate to call us. Take care!

Tel-jeunes

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