Young people’s questions

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[ relationships ]

momoproblems - girl - 16 ans (28 January 2009)

Okay, i like this boy named jose. i also have a boyfriend of one year. i didnt tell jose that i have a boyfriend but we really like each other. im scared to tell my boyfriend that i cheated on him because he could act alittle crazy sometimes. i dont want to leave my boyfriend but i love hanging out with jose because he is cooler than my boyfriend. what should i do?

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello momoproblems,

I read your message with attention. Is it possible that if you take the time to write us a message, you’re not so comfortable with this secret anymore?

I can imagine that both of these guys bring you something that you like. Am I right? We can feel attracted to people for different reasons. Every person brings us something different; feeling of being attractive, nice, loved, beautiful, to only name a few. Tell me, what kind of connexion do you have with this friend Jose? What kind of connexion do you have with your boyfriend? In their presence; how do you feel? Do you like them for the same or different reasons?

You write that none of them know about the other. Do you know why you keep it a secret? How do you feel with this secret? Are you comfortable with this secret?

We have to keep in mind that with a secret; it is always possible that someone will find out. How do you feel about this possibility? Is it possible for you to maintain both of these relationships as it is right now? Do you know what you want or what you are looking for in a relationship?

You can take the time to think about what you want in this situation; whether you want to keep both of these relationships as they are or not. You’re the one person who can choose the best solution for yourself. Ok?

We will always be available if you have further questions!


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