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Maï - girl - 13 ans (17 September 2010)

Hi I'm 13 years old and i just had my first big love relationship. It had been 1 year that we were together, 1 week ago it ended! i don't know what to do anymore because he says that it's because of me, he says that i said that it was over but i can't remeber it ! ( it's so wired ) And then the next day we went to the movies and he kissed me and then he says it's over ( that part always replays in my head !! ) when i see pictures of us together ou kissing i get angry all over again i don't know what to do anymore ! help me i love him so much

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi Maï,
I understand that breaking-up can be hurtful.

You wrote that this guy is almost kissing you at the same time that he is telling you that your relationship is over, isn't it? This type of behaviour seems contradictory. Do you agree? This type of behaviours can sometimes gives us hope and can make it harder for us to accept the end of the relationship. How do you feel toward that type of behaviour? You know Maï, to beak-up usually makes us going through a process of mourning. Mourning can makes us feel angry, sad, confused, guilty or a mixed of feelings. Maï, how are you feeling? Does it reassure you?

You wrote that you did not know what to do anymore, right? When we are going through mourning, it usually helps us to express our emotions. So, we can talk about it with our friends and parents. We can write, draw, sing and dance. We can live our emotions, while screaming, crying or hitting a safe object like a cushion. How would you like to express yourself?

Then, it often helps us to take time for mourning, but also to keep going with our life. In other words, it is usually healthy to listen to love songs, watch movies and pictures that make us think about our ex, but it is also good for us to change our mind. So we can see our friends, go to school, exercise, and do our hobbies. What do you usually like to do? What can you do in order to make you feel better? We can also take care of ourselves in many ways, like having a bath, going to the hairdresser, sleeping, eating things we like, etc. How would you like to take care of yourself?

We can have more tips about being lovesick by visiting our website at the following address: http://en.teljeunes.com/get-informed/love/breaking-up. Are you interested? Feel free to contact us again if you have any question or problem. We are there for you.
Take care Maï
Tel-jeunes

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