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[ scared mind. ]

summergirl - girl - 15 ans (4 January 2009)

Hello T-J!Lately i've been kind of scared to face people.i dont know why.Like sometimes im scared to make a joke or just say what i think because i think that people are gonna get mad at me or find me ridiculous.Or when i do say something about someone or do something,a 1000 things start running trough my mind like "what if that person finds out" or "what if that person gets mad and do something" when nothing has been done yet.I really wanna make it stop.because when i think about it im just worrying myself for nothing.WHat do i have to do??? i really need your help thank you.

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello summergirl,

I understand this situation is bothering you a lot. It’s a great idea to ask for help!

Maybe you don’t realized it but you have done a great job so far in understanding the situation. You are able to identify the situations in which you feel this way and to observe what thoughts appear in these moments. It’s already a lot and I want to congratulate you for all your efforts.

What I understand from your message is that you are ready to put things or actions in place in order to help you with this fear. Do I understand it right?

You know, we can’t just snap our fingers and make an emotion go away. It’s there; we can feel it inside of us. Tell me summergirl, how do you react when it happens? What have you tried so far to help you when you feel this way?

“Anxiety and fear are reactions to real or imagined physical or psychological danger.” In your situation are you able to pinpoint what the dangers are? For example, is it possible that people’s reactions are the possible “dangers” for you?

When we feel scared or anxious we can choose ways to cope with it. When you feel this way what could help you relax? What do you want to put in place in order to help you? I am asking these questions because there are many different things a person can do. But it is important to find something that is good for us. For example, breathing deeply, remembering reassuring images or good memories with friends, etc. Do you have other ideas? When you have a negative thought coming to your mind, could you replace it with a positive one? Have you talked to a close friend about it to see if your fear is real or not?

If you feel like these thoughts or emotions are growing stronger or are too intense don’t hesitate to ask for help. The school counsellor can be a great resource to help you. Ok?

I let you take some time to think about it. Remember we are always available for you!


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