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[ What to do with myself ]

Ashamed and guilty - boy - 19 ans (9 October 2013)

Hello, I am a 19 yrs old university student. I have always pushed myself hard in school. However, I studied what was practical (i.e. the fields in which there is good chance of employment) and never what I was interested in. As a result, I am currently studying in Pharmacy, but I don't any interest in any of my classes nor do I have any motivation to study. I don't even know I want to do, I just want to let it all go and take a permanent break. I would like to explore other fields by searching for volunteer opportunities, but I feel like I have nothing to offer. Same with work. I don't have much working experience and I don't know if I will be able to work and study at the same time (pharmacy is a hard program). I'm afraid that I can't even handle a job that doesn't necessarily require experience (maybe like retail). I feel ashamed and guilty for having these kind of problems and being miserable when there are so many other people with much worse problems. In short, I feel like a worthless failure who is complaining for nothing. My question is: what do I do with myself at this stage of my life?

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hi there!

It can be, indeed, difficult to find a path that really feels like "ours" and as we grow up, we might feel the urge to go toward what resembles us.

There is no magic button to find where we truly belong, this is why it is useful to rely on our main interests and passions. Sometimes, we also need to evaluate with life experiences what it is that turns us on. What you are going through right now is normal, we all have moments of doubts and lacks of motivation. Sometimes, it is only temporary and it gets better. Other times, these moments are transitory. It can mean that we are ending with the old and slowly opening up to the new. Once you are in a university program, it is always possible to apply to another program which is closer to your interests. Have you thought of that? No path is a straight line and all of us have the right to change our mind and try something else, if that is what you want. After all, it is YOUR life, don't you agree?

Change is scary for most of us. No one can predict the future and even if we chose one direction, we don't know what will happen, we only have an idea that helps us figure out where we are heading. What could be the idea that would give you hope and motivation?

In your situation, some people decide to continue their program while doing something that gives them energy and motivation (sports, arts...). Others will manage their university courses differently in order to work part-time (take 4 courses in fall and winter and 2 in summer class, for example). Others will start looking other programs or other options, with the help of a careers adviser. Others will simply choose to go talk to a counsellor in order to connect with their inner voices. It is your choice to make! What do you think would suit you better?

You can email us again if you have other questions or call us anytime at 1-800-263-2266. Do not hesitate, we are available 24/7.

Take care,

Tel-jeunes

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