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[ how to know if ur lesbian ]

dina - girl - 13 ans (17 June 2008)

how do u know if ur lesbian? i mean, whats clear
definition? i like this guy, but i go to an all girls school
and i know a lesbian. i'm kind of scared because i dont want to become a lesbian. what should i do? i'm not sure what i am
right now. but i guess liking a guy is a clear sign i'm NOT lesbian right?

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello Dina,

Your question is a very current one. Many people, mostly teenagers, are worried about their sexual orientation. Discovering your sexual identity can sometimes be confusing. Boys and girls don't just wake up one morning and decide of their sexual orientation. It takes time and it is normal not to be sure.
People have very different experiences regarding their orientation. Some people know that they are lesbian or not for a long time before they actually pursue relationships with other people. Some people engage in sexual and/or affective relationship (with same-sex and/or other sex partners) before assigning a clear label to their sexual orientation. Claiming a lesbian or heterosexual identity may be a slow process. You are asking if the fact that you like a guy is a clear sign of your heterosexuality. It is not that simple (I wish it was), but it is one of many signs that will lead you to be sure of your orientation one day. Don’t worry, it is normal that you ask yourself these questions and it certainly does not mean that you are a lesbian. I’ll let you think about all this. Don’t hesitate to call us if you need to talk with a counsellor. Take care of yourself
Tel-Jeunes

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