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[ gaybutfantasize ]

Kiddo - girl - 15 ans (16 January 2013)

Hi , Thank you for the time you'll take to answer my question . So here is my confusion ... i am lesbian girl . I have a girlfriend and i love her and i am extremely exited by her . When we are in bed and everything there is no problem at all ! But then i go to masturbate myself , and i fantasize about having sex with her or other girls and i don't get aroused 0.o i tried fantasizing about having sex with guys and it woks , it gets me aroused although it's honestly the last thing i would ever do in my life ... I like girls ... Anyways if you could help me find my way , i would really appreciate :) .

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello kiddo,

Teens tend to ask a lot of questions about sexual orientation and sexual fantasies.

People's sexual orientation is something that can change over someones life, although it can be stable for others. Teen's sexual orientations tend to be more flexible and fluctuate with the experiences they have, the fantasies they experience, etc. It's possible for some that their homosexuality is a phase, others are determining that they might be bisexual or that they have a heterosexual phase. What bothers you that you have heterosexual fantasies? Do you feel that it could change your sexual orientation? How would you react if you found out that you were bisexual or heterosexual? Do you feel that you necesserily need to act on you fantasies? There are some fantasies that stay in our sexual imagination and others that we want to realize. Do you want to realize your heterosexual fantasies?

We have to consider as well that someone's sexual orientation is determined by a number of variables. Such as your sexual behaviours, your sexual attraction, your emotional attraction, your sexual fantasies, your social circle and your personal identification towards a specific sexual orientation. How do you consider yourself in each of these categories? Do you see yourself as heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual in the different criteria? It's actually possible to consider oneself differently in each of these. We can't choose to whom or how we are attracted to people, but ultimately, you decide what you want to identify to. You might be sexually attracted to guys and girls, but only emotionnaly attracted to girls. Do you think that might be the case for you?

I'll wish you a nice day and don't hesite to contact us again.


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