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[ Having sex with someone that you know for a month ]

luckie_star4u - girl - 19 ans (3 December 2008)

Dear Tel Jeunes, I got a question to ask you, I want to know is it having oral sex will be dangerous? My boyfriend nonstop to ask me if I'm ready to do sex! I don't know if I'm ready or not? How could I know if I'm ready or not? I know my boyfriend just for one months and we start at the first time kissing, kissing my breast. After, we started to touch each other genital organs and I want to know how I could know if I'm ready to do sex or not because it is my first time and I don't that we will be on the hand of the otners!I need help for my questions please answer my question!

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello luckie_star4u,

It is normal to have concerns about sexuality. It is a good idea to get information!

There are no age or precise moment where a person “should be” ready. Every person has a personal rhythm. Time is a concept that can be different for one person to another.

Being ready are two words that refer to a lot of things. I could resume it in three aspects: feeling ready our heart, in our head and in our body. Sometimes our body can be ready; it can have sexual desire but we can still be full of fears or doubts. It could mean that we can still need more time. Being ready also means that we took the time to get informed on the different contraceptive methods and the risks of STD’s. Do you see what I mean?

How do you feel about sexuality? How do you feel in your body, mind and heart? Do you feel ready? Did you take the time to get information about contraception? You also mention not knowing if you are ready. Is it possible that it means that you’re not totally ready?

I think it is important to remember that we can take our time. We can take moments to discover our body, our partner’s and to observe the different sensations. Oral sex, as any sexual practise, is something that we can choose to do or not. It is not dangerous in any way. Some people feel comfortable with it, some others don’t. And it is important to know that no one can force us to do something we don’t want to. Do you understand?

I let you think about it! If you have further questions; we are always available!


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