Young people’s questions

As you can see, you are not alone.

You can read others’ question on various subjects.

[ sex ]

lollypop - girl - 13 ans (28 October 2009)

i have a boy friend he told me to have a sex what should i do he is 14 he said that he will use condom but i am scare i read at internet they say that having sex is hurt and if i am pregnent i should i do i love him but i scare to do the sex what should i do help me

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello lollypop,

I read your message with care; it's a great initiative to write!

Our boyfriend or girlfriend can share their opinions about sexuality; it's ok to say we feel ready for it. Still, it's not because our lover feels ready that we automatically feel ready too. We should never feel any pressure from our partner. Do you understand what I mean?
We can love someone very much and not be ready for sexuality. We all have a different rhythm and it's important to respect it. At 13 years old, it's normal to not feel ready.

Sex can be a beautiful thing: when we trust the other person, when we feel it in our body, when the decision comes from inside us, when we have addressed our fears and preoccupations, etc. When we feel pressured, scared or when we do it for someone else, we aren't ready. Do you agree with me?

It's important to put limits lollypop. You have the right to choose when you will feel ready for sex. You're actually the only person who can take that decision. Ok? Would you feel ready to tell your boyfriend? Do you want to choose a moment when he’s the most available?

I'll let you think about it. You can also read our website; there's a sexuality section that might interest you. Ok? Take care lollypop!


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