Young people’s questions

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You can read others’ question on various subjects.

[ virginity ]

lucky - girl - 20 ans (18 January 2009)

Hy Thank you very much for helping me by answering my quesion. I would like to know if I had sex with someone (penetration) is there a way the vagina comes back like as if I never had sex. This question is very important for me. I need to know if this will affect my futur relationship or not... Like if I get into a new relationship in one year will it be still very obvious that i had an active sex life or not that much. Thank you very much. this question is extremely important for me and the only trustfull place for me to ask my question was teljeune. thanx again Bye

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello lucky,

I read your message with great attention. I can perceive how important it is to you.

First, if we only take the physical aspect into account, there are no observable changes to the vagina area telling a partner that we had sex before. I’ll give you a simple example. If a person has 5 sexual partners, the last one would never be able to say “I’m the fifth one”. Do you see what I mean?

Concerning the definition of virginity, I find important to note that it’s a personal vision. It can be different from person to person, from culture to culture. I’ll give you some examples (but they are many others). Some persons associate the hymen with virginity, others associate it with the first penetration, others associate it with the first sexual contact and others associate it with the first person they truly love. What is your own definition of virginity Lucky? How important is it to you?

I want to come back to one sentence. You mention “I need to know if this will affect my future relationship or not”. What do you mean exactly? According to you, how could it affect your next relationship? What is your vision about it? What are your personal values concerning sexuality? Do you associate it with cultural or religious belief?

These are questions that only you can answer. I’ll let you think about it. Remember we are always available if you have further questions!


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