Young people’s questions

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[ Sex ]

Aphrodite - girl - 15 ans (14 January 2009)

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months and a half now. And I want to have sex with him and he wants to have sex with me but in some way I am scared. Are chances of the condom breaking very high? Does it hurt a lot? Would things change a lot between us? I really like him and even though we are only fifteen we do feel like our love will last forever and that we could be together for a very long time. I am not taking the pill is that bad if we only use a condom? And what do guys normally like? When a girl's vagina is shaved or not? Because he has wanted to do the fingering but I was never sure of how he would react and got scared that it would be a bad reaction? How do we know if we are really ready to have sex? Please help...

Tel-jeunes’ answer


Hi Aphrodite ! I understand that you can be preoccupied with your first sexual experiences. You seem to worry about many things regarding sexuality. I have to tell you that we answer to one question per day per teenager. I will give you a general answer and suggest that you write to us again for your other questions. Did you ever share your feelings and thoughts with your boyfriend? Would you like to ask him what he likes? Do you know what your preferences, limits and fears are? Are you confident enough to share them with your boyfriend? What would be a terrific first sexual experience?

An important fact about sexuality is that, like other aspects of our lives, we need to learn a lot to have a satisfying experience. Time, experience, communication between the couple, a relaxed mood are very important. When the hymen is broken, you may feel a pinching sensation. When a woman is stressed, her vagina tends to contract and that can affect the lubrication, adding to the pain. That’s why it’s important to be able to communicate and share our limits and preferences to our partner. You see, in sexual matters, there are no obligations or normality. Everything depends on what you and your partner prefer. For example, some man like hair on the pubis because it keeps the subtle odours that can be very sexually stimulant. Some woman like to shave, some don’t. It depends on your own preferences. Do you understand?

I strongly suggest that you visit the sexuality section our web site. You will also find good tips about contraception and a demonstration on how to use a condom at this web site: http://www.sexualityandu.ca/home_e.aspx. Don’t hesitate to write again. Good luck Aphrodite!

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