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[ i think im bi ]

gigi10 - girl - 15 ans (28 September 2008)

i was playin truth or dare with my friends and i had to pick if i had to kiss a girl or the guy and i picked the girl and i really enjoyed since then ive kissed her a couple of times and ive done more sexual stuff with her but she keeps sayin that we do this just to see how it feel but i really enjoy it alot but i have a boyfriend and ilove him does this mean im bisexual?

Tel-jeunes’ answer

Hello gigi10!

I think a lot of young people do question this aspect of themselves. And it’s quite normal!

If you take a look at the definition of sexual orientation it says that it’s the attraction, the affection and the desire that we feel for someone (whether of the same sex or opposite). We can therefore be attracted to a girl or a boy. But in the long term, sexual orientation is not only a question of being sexually attracted to someone, it’s also our capacity to fall in love and to see ourselves in a relationship. Do you understand the difference?

Some people do have experiences with partners of the same sex and don’t consider themselves homosexual. And some others do. How do you perceive your experience with your friend? Is it only experimentation? Do you have feelings for her? Are you comfortable with what you are experiencing?

It’s quite normal to question ourselves during adolescence because we are trying to understand, to define who we are. Do you agree with me? We look at everyone around and we wonder if we are normal or not. The thing is; since we are all unique, we are different. And normal. Do you understand what I mean? It’s possible that your friend and you don’t agree on how you perceive what’s going on between you. Maybe for her it’s only to see how it feels. What does it mean to you?

The different experiences we have (and will have in the future) can help us define our choices, tastes, etc. Sexual orientation isn’t something that we need to identify (or define) right away. Do you feel like you have to put a word on your experience right now? Do you feel like you have to “categorize” yourself right now? Is it possible that time can help you figure out how you define yourself?

I let you think about it! Take care!


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